Commando

Data
Title: Commando
Year: 1985
Length: 90 minutes
Director: Mark L. Lester
Writer: Steven E. de Souza; story by Jeph Loeb, Matthew Weisman & de Souza
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong, Dan Hedaya, Vernon Wells
Music: James Horner
I saw it: on video (rented from Netflix), yesterday
Synopsis: badguys kidnap an ex-soldier’s daughter; he doesn’t cooperate

My reaction
Concept:2/4 (Indifferent)
Story:0/4 (Terrible)
Characters:0/4 (Terrible) There is almost no time spent on character development, but that’s one of the movie’s strongest points. The audience doesn’t give a fuck about characters, and neither does Commando.
Dialog:0/4 (Terrible) But hilarious.
Pacing:4/4 (Great) This is the model of pacing that all action films should aspire to.
Cinematography:3/4 (Good) If I were seeing it in 1985 I’d probably think the cinematography’s crap, but oh my goodness it is wonderfully refreshing compared to modern action films.  You can see everything. You always know exactly where everything is and exactly what’s happening. Is that really so much to ask?
Special effects/design:1/4 (Bad) There are no major faults with it (except for some of the costumes); it just exudes a sense of low-budgetedness.
Acting:0/4 (Terrible) Vernon Wells is in the running for the worst professional actor I’ve ever seen.
Music:0/4 (Terrible) Bad music, but I’ve got to admit that the end credits song is the perfect fit for the movie: complete shit, but rockin’.
Subjective Rating: 8/10 (Great, 4/4 (Great)). Yes, it is terrible. Terrible, terrible, terrible. It’s also the most fun I’ve had watching a movie in a long time. And not only because I’m laughing at its expense (although there’s plenty of that); it really is a genuinely fun movie.
Objective Rating (Average):1.4/4 (Bad)

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