Second Annual Pantsy Awards

It’s time once again (because I said so) for the Pantsy Awards, my imaginary Oscars. These are the movies of 2010 that would win and be nominated for Academy Awards if my wife and I were the Academy. Because it’s more fun than predictions.

(If you’re wondering how a group of two people can vote on something, suffice to say a complicated point-scoring system was involved, much to my wife’s annoyance.)

It should be noted, there are a number of actual Oscar nominees that we haven’t seen, including Another Year (original screenplay), Biutiful (lead actor), Alice in Wonderland (art direction, costume design, visual effects), The Tempest (costume design) and Hereafter (visual effects). Also, Rabbit Hole and Never Let Me Go are at a disadvantage because I saw them alone.

First up, the silly award:
Best Use of the Word Fuck
– the nominees are: “Fuck, fuck, fuck, tits!,” Colin Firth, The King’s Speech; “Sorry, my Prada’s at the cleaners along with my hoodie and my ‘fuck you’ flip-flops, you pretentious douchebag!,” Andrew Garfield, The Social Network; “I’m just fucking with you, Daddy,” Chloe Moretz, Kick-Ass; “Fuck this shit, I’m getting the bazooka,” Stu “Large” Riley, Kick-Ass; “That guy did not just get off the fuckin’ couch. If he did, I’m gonna get a couch like that,” Mark Wahlberg, The Fighter
– and the winner is: Colin Firth. Congratualtions, Mr. Firth, those were some excellent swears.

Best Poster (clicky for to see)
– nominees: The American, Black Swan, Dogtooth, I Am Love, True Grit
– the winner: The American

Best Visual Effects
– nominees: Black Swan, Harry Potter 7, Inception, Monsters, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
– the winner: Inception

Best Art Direction
– nominees: Black Swan, I Am LoveThe King’s SpeechTrue GritWinter’s Bone
– the winner: Black Swan

Best Costume Design
– nominees: Black Swan, Cairo Time, Easy A, The King’s Speech, True Grit, Winter’s Bone
– the winner: True Grit

Best Original Score
– nominees: Carter Burwell, True Grit; Alexandre Desplat, The Ghost Writer; Clint Mansell, Black Swan; A.R. Rahman, 127 Hours; Hans Zimmer, Inception
– the winner: Hans Zimmer

Best Cinematography
– nominees: Thimios Bakatakis, Dogtooth; Roger Deakins, True Grit; Yorick Le Saux, I Am Love; Michael McDonough, Winter’s Bone; Martin Ruhe, The American
– the winner: Roger Deakins

Best Directing
– nominees: Darren Aronofsky, Black Swan; Danny Boyle, 127 Hours; Ethan & Joel Coen, True Grit; Anton Corbijn, The American; Debra Granik, Winter’s Bone; Roman Polanski, The Ghost Writer
– the winners: A tie! The Coens & Debra Granik

Best Adapted Screenplay
– nominees: Nikolaj Arcel & Rasmus Heisterberg, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo; Danny Boyle & Simon Beaufoy, 127 Hours; Joel & Ethan Coen, True Grit; Debra Granik & Anne Rosellini, Winter’s Bone; Rowan Joffe, The American; Aaron Sorkin, The Social Network
– the winners: The Coens

Best Original Screenplay
– nominees: Derek Cianfrance, Cami Delavigne & Joey Curtis, Blue Valentine; Efthymis Filippou & Giorgos Lanthimos, Dogtooth; Christopher Nolan, Inception; Bert V. Royal, Easy A; Scott Silver, Paul Tamasy & Eric Johnson, The Fighter
– the winners: Efthymis Filippou & Giorgos Lanthimos

Best Supporting Actor
– nominees: Christian Bale, The Fighter; Matt Damon, True Grit; Andrew Garfield, Never Let Me Go/The Social Network; John Hawkes, Winter’s Bone; Geoffrey Rush, The King’s Speech
– the winner: Christian Bale

Best Supporting Actress
– nominees: Amy Adams, The Fighter; Helena Bonham Carter, The King’s Speech; Mila Kunis, Black Swan; Amy Ryan, Jack Goes Boating; Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit
– the winners: A tie! Amy Adams & Hailee Steinfeld

Best Lead Actor
– nominees: Jeff Bridges, True Grit; Colin Firth, The King’s Speech; James Franco, 127 Hours; Ryan Gosling, Blue Valentine; Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jack Goes Boating
– the winner: Ryan Gosling

Best Lead Actress
– nominees: Jennifer Lawrence, Winter’s Bone; Julianne Moore, The Kids Are All Right; Natalie Portman, Black Swan; Noomi Rapace, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo; Tilda Swinton, I Am Love; Michelle Williams, Blue Valentine
– the winner: Jennifer Lawrence

Best Picture
– nominees: 127 Hours, Black Swan, Blue Valentine, Easy A, The Fighter, The King’s Speech, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Toy Story 3, True Grit, Winter’s Bone
– the winner: Winter’s Bone


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